#51.

day 03.

your views on drugs and alcohol.

as long as you don't let the substance control you, i don't really see a problem with either. personally, i would never do hard drugs because i wouldn't put my body in such a vulnerable position to reach an unnecessary high. drugs lead you to a curious place in the human psyche but i think it's more of like a choose-your-own-adventure kind of thing, because it could lead you to a nightmare or a hazy, blurry dreamworld.

+ today: snowmageddon pt. 4.

for the fourth time, the university has closed down due to weather conditions. the first three were well warranted as the city was buried underneath a sheath of snow; like, the piles of snow outside my door literally eclipsed my 5'1 stature. today was just a big joke in comparison, but i'm thankful for it, nonetheless.

today i hung out with a roommate, took some black & white film photos, helped somebody heal their heartache, bought a ridiculously expensive shirt, and gave change to an old man on the streets. he had kind eyes and told me that i had a warm heart and i felt guilty. because there is so much more that i can do, than give him a measly fifty cents.

i remember one time, when i had openly expressed my guilt to a friend and she stared at me blankly and called me an idiot.

"why don't you do something about it, rather than moping around, being an apathetic hypocrite?" she scoffed.

her words really struck a chord in me and i realized that i was just being a whiny little brat. if i really and truly cared, i would be proactive about it, instead of wallowing uselessly in a pool of self-apprehension. so i've decided to do things, rather then feel guilt. we are all capable of feeling guilt but it fades away.

margarat mead said: "never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

even though the measly fifty cents may not be much (i probably should've given him food), it is still something and if we were all proactive maybe, we can embark on some sort of positive change in the world.

just a thought.