#46.

because my vocabulary is shameful, i've lost all eloquence and style in writing, and as much as i love harry potter, i would rather read something whose contents don't consist of scientific latin.

booklist

1. saturday by ian mcewan.
2. bloodletting & miraculous cure by vincent lam.
3. this night's foul work by fred vargas.
4. the god of small things by arundhati roy
5. harry potter and the deathly hallows by j.k rowling.
6. love in the time of cholera by gabriel marquez.
7. possession by a.s. byatt.
8. never let me go by kazuo ishiguro.
9. a wrinkle in time by madeline d'engle.


all of these, i purchased in october, in vain hopes of touching after my midterms. alas, finals have started and i have yet to turn a single page of any of these manuscripts. i'm not even going to lie: i am a t.v. junkie.

#45.

new years resolutions:

1) stop procrastinating.
2) stop being so materialistic and vain.
3) read a novel once a month.
4) be productive with your hobbies.
5) be kinder to men.
6) be a good person.
7) take more photos.
8) don't be afraid to live.
9) stop judging people prematurely.
10) document your life.

#44.

snow'd in.

i can't remember the last time i've been absolutely caved inside of my house, unable to go outside due to large mountains of fluffy whiteness.

i love it.

i would like it even more if i were free to build snow forts, make snowmen and engage in snowball fights. but alas, it is a universal truth to all university students that finals eat up your soul.

my mind has been so rattled and filled almost to capacity with images of bones and muscles.

tomorrow: i will study some more. go outside and capture winter on film. paint my nails. frolick. drink hot chocolate.

tonight: i will simply sigh and eat dinner.

#43.

i feel lost and unmotivated.

although the skies are clear and it is nearing the holiday season, november blues have got me feeling down and alone.

sometimes, i wish that i could just pull a sleeping beauty and sleep for a hundred years.

but that's just sad. because there are no prince charmings in reality.

other exciting news: noah and the whale is playing in toronto in march. i am determined to go and see them. they never come to canada. i will go see them by myself, if warranted.

#42.

things to photograph:

- people jumping on beds
- autumn foliage
- goldfish swimming in tomato soup
- portraits of manny the mannequin
- homework piles
- bookstores & old books
- guitars
- stuffed animals
- shop displays
- candids of friends
- shoes
- dresses & twirling
- faces
- mannequins
- grass
- nail polish gradients
- other photographs
- cake
- old books
- UCC
- staircases

#41.

random facts:

1) i only eat muffin tops, but i eat the whole cupcake. i never buy muffins because i feel so guilty just throwing half of it away. luckily, i've found somebody who would always eat my muffin bottoms.

2) i'm suffering from a bit of a crisis right now because i think i am balding.

3) i love jason mraz and scruffy 25-year-olds.

4) i like taking film photos and assigning lyrics to them. but it's a tough job because the lyrics have to be just right. i get really sad sometimes because after i've written on them, i find a much more appropriate song.

5) i hate crossing the street because i'm really bad at making those executive decisions on whether or not to cross when the light is still green but the walking man says no.

6) i enjoy everyday harry potter references.

eg. why aren't you looking at me? it's not as if i am a basilisk.

7) i love braids, polaroids, expensive tea&coffee, blanket forts, christmas lights, and daisies.

8) the most satisfying activity in the world is walking through piles of crunchy leaves.

9) i like owls, otters, and elephants.

10) i didn't finish my japanese homework. (oops.)

#40.

things i need to do:

- love me more.
- sleep more.
- dream more.
- take less offense.
- stop procrastinating. (!!)

burning the midnight oil with caffeine rushing through my veins. makeup applied since 8 am seeps into my pores; i need a shower. oh my, is it that time of the year again?

funny things about boys: it's when you start becoming interested, that they plan to run away.

i feel like boys have a radar. for me, anyway. once they sense that i'm somewhat interested in any way, they disappear into a dark abyss of awkward. and every time we meet next, the air is filled with so much tension that i wish to suck it all up with a vacuum.

the song 'almost lover' relates to me but i would never let it progress that far.

because i'm not easy.

why i like clothing, cameras, books & poetry: they aren't fickle and temperamental.

they don't judge. when you find a dress that is oh-so-suitable for you, when it hugs the nooks and crannies of your imperfect body perfectly and drapes off your shoulders comfortingly, you know that it would never just leave you. and you get what you input--care for the dress and the dress cares for you. so many memories, so many sights seen, so many foods eaten, with that dress. a constant companion, but is also exceedingly loyal. that is a dress.

boys, on the other hand, are prone to desire, to lust. always in the search of 'better'. boys are mirages: seemingly perfect, hiding a plethora of potential. potential to turn girls into dark and twisty and ugly things.

i hate boys.